The MEET!

Well, we went to the meeting with Hannah’s father.  I was a bit surprised at his appearance, as he was always so well dressed and groomed when we were together so many years ago, and this day he was pretty scruffy.  It was as if he had given up on his handsome appearance for something that looked nothing like what I remembered.  He’s a handsome guy who needs a goatee trim, a haircut, an eyebrow wax, and a kick of self-confidence.  His new wife thinks he looks nice, so I guess he’s changed in a lot of ways.  

Anyway, Hannah, her sister and Jim sat and talked with each other for 2 hours.  I then joined them for another hour while we ate lunch.  It was a good conversation.  Trivial, but good.  I did not talk about anything even remotely related to money, Hannah’s upbringing (well, not the hard parts for me), or what I expected him to do to make up for all of the lost time.  I just let Hannah have her first day with her father.  She said that he was not what she expected but that she would like to get to know him.  I have no idea how he felt.  I hope to hear very soon.

My next meeting with him will be a one on one to discuss the nitty gritty of negotiation.  It’s going to be tough.

 

Cheers!

Today is the day

We are meeting with the other half of Hannah’s DNA in one hour.  As I said before, I haven’t seen Jim in a little over 16 years, and I have been praying that all of the emotions I have felt over the years don’t come flooding back in one single moment.  I’ll let everyone know what happens.

 

Cheers!

Good day

Yesterday was a good day.  Nothing to want to repeat exactly as it was, but it was good.  My 1st class was filled with students whom I’ve had before, and they were all having as much fun as you can in an ops class.  Wine?  We’ll have to make sure that they become as excited about the process as I am.  :p Oh well.

Today I have 2 sections of Management by Menu, a marketing class of sorts, and it will be the same old thing I’m sure.  I have three people who failed the class last quarter and have chosen to take it from me again.  Okay, but it is the same class that they didn’t come to or do work for last quarter.  ?!?!?  

Tomorrow is the day that Hannah meets her father for the first time, and it will be the 1st time that I have seen him in a little over 16 years.  Yep.  I promise, on my honor, that I will not harm him physically in a public place, nor will I spit on him, nor will I call him names.  I promise to be the me who is happy and can get through anything.    I’ll let everyone know how it goes.

 

cheers!

Rant

Yesterday was rant day for me, and I felt so much better after blogging.  This is such a wonderful tool for getting things out.  The bonus is that if you get it out, you don’t have to publish it, and if you do hit the almighty button, you can delete it.  I know, I know… (from all of my computer friends), once you put something on the internet, it’s always out there.  Good thing I only rant my most personal feelings.  

So, today is the first day of classes for the quarter.  Another group of eager, or not so eager, students to mold into fine young chefs.  Hooray!  I think it will be a good one.  I am teaching a section of food and beverage operations, one of sanitation and safety, a wine appreciation class, and 2 sections of management by menu.  I’ll write impressions tonight.

Happy Bastille Day!?!

 

cheers!

CRAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to scream at the top of my freakin’ lungs!!!  I just can’t take the crap anymore!  Why is it that every man I meet turns out to be a son of a bitch?  There has never been a man I have dated/married/ or been somewhat serious with who was worth the time and effort to breathe.  I need higher standards, damn it!!  I need more in this life than mediocre.  I have come to the conclusion that there is truly no one else out there for me, and I probably should have cut my losses and lost my soul by staying with Robert.  F@*k!  I just don’t understand.  I am not a horrible person.  I am actually fairly funny, loving, caring, kind, devoted, giving, and nice.  I’m also sort of intelligent and an all around good human being.  So why?  Why all of the losers?  Why can I not be allowed to be with someone who makes me happy?  I am finally happy with myself as a person.  I mean, I really do like myself, and I am making my way in the world as it should be.  I just enjoy the company of a male human being in my life.  Is that wrong?  Shit.  I am so upset right now, and I don’t know why I got this way.  Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No iphone right now

Well, I had checked my upgrade status on my phone before I went to stand in line to get one of the iphone 3G’s.  Glad I did.  I could have gotten an early upgrade, but checking the comments online throughout the day kept me from doing so.  This could have been a great phone, really, but something in my gut told me to hold off and wait until I saw the results come out from other people’s purchases.  OMG!  It’s going to be G5 before I purchase one.  Even with the discount, it isn’t worth the headache.  Apple has a good handle on their laptops and desktops, and the ipod for that matter, but they just can’t seem to get the phone right.  Oh well.  I think I will stick with my Blackberry for a while, upgrade that, and then see what Apple has to bring to the table in a couple of years.  Maybe I’ll even give in and switch to Sprint for the Instinct.    

 

cheers!

What a week…

This week was the first back to work after 3 weeks of vacation.  It would have been tough without outside influence, but unfortunately life happens.  Monday, I had my 41st birthday.  It was okay.  My family got together to do cake and stuff, and I went to bed after a very long day of lectures at work and a phone call from a friend that Hannah’s bio father would be calling me that evening to set up a meet time.  He did not call.  

Tuesday I went to work and did  the meeting thing, and Jim did call.  Fortunately, I was able to get up from the meeting and take the call in another room.  He said that he would meet with Hannah next week, but that this was really hard on his marriage.  Hard???  Hard is being on welfare for the first year of your child’s life and finally finding a decent job to take care of her.  Hard is raising that child alone and knowing that he wanted nothing to do with helping to raise her.  He actually had to think about meeting Hannah or not, because his wife of less than a year was crying and giving ultimatums.  OMG!  Seriously.  Grow up and quit being so damn selfish.  You have a piece of paper between you, and Hannah has his DNA.  Trump!  

I picked myself up and became someone in spite of those humble beginnings, but he still has a responsibility to her.  He still needs to explain why he NEVER contacted her or found her, or why he did not contribute monetarily to her upbringing.  I knew where he was at all times but did not want to introduce him into Hannah’s life just because of “money”.   I told her that he wasn’t with us because he didn’t love himself enough to love other people, and she accepted that until she was 8.  At that point, I told her that she could meet him when she was older if she wanted to.  She chose 16.  

Wednesday, I went to court in the morning to finalize my divorce with Robert, then I returned to school to speak in front of an Art Institute bigwig, and then it was off to an orientation and back again to my regular meetings.  Very physically and emotionally tiring.

Thursday was a big hashing out session at work that drained us all, and Friday I hit the bottom.  I am pooped.  I am spending my weekend working on prepping for class next week.  I’m ready to get back to it.  I actually missed being at school for that time.  I want to go back and teach.  

I will blog on Monday about the first day of school, and speak about Wednesday’s meeting after it happens.  Right now, I need a benadryl and a nap.  

 

cheers!

Fourth of July

Well, another 4th has come and gone.  This year just happened to be more exciting than most, because I got to watch the most recent season of America’s Next Top Model in its entirety.  It took all day, but I watched it.   Hannah was at a friend’s house all day, and she just got home.  They shot off some fireworks and had a pretty good time.  Next year, I am planning a trip to Paris during our 233rd birthday for America.  I think I would rather be waking up there instead of watching another season of ANTM.  

Hannah and college

as some of you already know, Hannah has decided to go to NYU and pursue a degree in Studio Art with a minor in Technical Music.  She’s always had that New Yorker attitude.  That’s my baby girl!

Cheers

Wonderful evening…

Oh my goodness.  Hannah and I had the most wonderful evening.  Hannah met her sister!  She said that this was one of the best nights of her entire life.  Thank you to Kari, Elizabeth’s mom.  What a wonderful woman to have raised such a beautiful and caring young woman.  We are so blessed to now have both of them in our lives.

Sadly, Hannah’s father is still denying her.  He doesn’t want to meet her.  Well, not yet.  He will. I believe that curiosity will get the best of him, and he will finally want to meet the wonderful daughter he has not ever gazed upon.  I hope for Hannah’s sake that he does want to meet her.  She is more like him than he knows, even never having been in the same room with each other.  I pray that he will open his eyes and realize that she is worth knowing.  He would love her.  I know it.

Cheers!